Aliyawanders

Looking back, one of my biggest regrets happened in 2010. My husband and I were barely a year into our marriage when we found ourselves saddled with a RM30K holiday membership debt. And no, it wasn’t because we were being extravagant – it all started with a cleverly disguised “reward” trip to Bali.

Here’s how it happened.

It started with an agency contest: hit your targets, and you’d win a “free” Bali trip. Miss the mark, and you had to pay your way. Sounded amazing, right? A trip to Bali, staying in 5-star accommodations, being treated like VIPs. What could go wrong? Turns out, everything.

When we arrived, the villa accommodations were stunning – three couples, including us, shared a luxurious three-room villa. The other couples were housed in adjacent villas. But here’s the catch: we were told we had to attend a talk. No big deal, right? Wrong. It turned out to be a relentless sales pitch for a holiday membership.

The pressure was intense. They used every trick in the book: “This is a one-day-only offer!” and “You’re so lucky to be chosen!” And the most heartbreaking part? The person who organized the trip – our team leader – was in on it. He struck a deal with the club to bring in “potential clients” (that’s us) in exchange for the villas. Even worse, he conveniently excluded his own sister and her husband from the presentation, sparing them the nightmare we were about to endure.

Then came the words that sealed our fate. Our team leader leaned into the mantra: “Be, Do, Have.” Be the person you want to become. Do the things that person would do. Only then will you have what you desire. He painted this lifestyle as the pinnacle of success, and we bought into it – hook, line, and sinker.

Under immense pressure, we caved. We signed up, thinking it was a great deal. It wasn’t. On top of the RM30K membership fee (split with another couple, so RM15K each), there were annual USD maintenance fees – and they kept increasing. We later realized it would have cost less to book the same accommodations on Agoda or Booking.com.

It took me years to fully understand how manipulated we’d been. The so-called “reward trip” wasn’t a reward – it was a recruitment tactic. The representative in Bali later explained that the villas were provided by the holiday club in exchange for our leader bringing us as prospective clients. What should have been a celebration of success turned into a financial and emotional nightmare.

The aftermath was brutal. We were newlyweds with a RM30K debt hanging over our heads. This wasn’t the life I envisioned when I chose to live frugally – even our wedding was as budget-friendly as possible. To find ourselves in this situation felt like a betrayal – not just by the system, but by someone we trusted.

The mantra “Be, Do, Have” stuck with me for a long time – but not in the way they intended. Instead of inspiring me, it became a painful reminder of how we were manipulated into making irrational decisions. Over time, I learned to approach such ideologies with skepticism.

Beyond the financial strain, the emotional toll was significant. Over the span of 10 years, I distanced myself from this person. It wasn’t easy – he was skilled at gaslighting and guilt-tripping. But gradually, I became more independent and learned to trust my instincts.

Looking back, I still regret not saying no. While I take responsibility for my decision, it’s clear how manipulative the situation was. This experience taught me a valuable lesson: never let anyone pressure you into something you’re unsure about, no matter how shiny the offer seems. If a deal looks too good to be true – it probably is.

If you ever find yourself in a high-pressure sales situation, take a step back. Don’t let the moment – or someone else’s agenda – cloud your judgment. Protect your peace, your finances, and your future.