Aliyawanders

Nak tanya (dengan nada curious tapi actually triggered dalam hati) —

Sekarang memang trend ke gurau dengan perempuan macam ni:

“Tak dapat malam tadi ke?”

“Baju semua matching, yang dalam pun sama ke?”

I had to deal with these kind of remarks just last week. All delivered with big laughs — as if it’s the peak of humour.

I diam. Tapi dalam hati, tak selesa. Tak lawak pun.

Then I saw someone say the same thing to a cashier, just because she had an attitude.

“Malam tadi tak dapat ke?”

Eh, tu bukan sexual harassment ke?

It’s a conversation that many people are too uncomfortable to start. But when left unchecked, these “jokes” normalize a culture that disrespects boundaries and desensitizes others to sexual harassment.

It’s a conversation that many people are too uncomfortable to start. But when left unchecked, these “jokes” normalize a culture that disrespects boundaries and desensitizes others to sexual harassment.

Macam mana nak handle bila situasi ni berlaku when you are in a vulnerable position :

1. Kalau dalam family atau kawan lama:

Kadang-kadang mereka tak sedar. So a gentle but firm response helps:

“Gurau tu tak sesuai la. Tak best dengar.”

Atau kalau nak main sindir with hidden meaning:

“Eh, level lawak abang ni zaman 90-an eh?”

Kita cuba nak convey that we are not comfortable but at the same time taknak la marah (yet)

2. Kalau dalam company kecil, takde HR:

This one’s tricky. Especially bila nak jaga work relationship, and even more tricky when the one making the lewd jokes are the ones at higher position.

Kalau repeatedly berlaku:

Cuba tegur one-on-one, bukan depan orang lain.

“Saya harap you faham, I rasa kurang selesa dengan jenis gurauan macam tu.”

Kalau nak neutral sikit:

“Let’s keep it professional ya, kita semua kat sini datang kerja.”

Kalau tak selesa tegur, because we know jarang la these people take it kindly bila kena tegur kan, at least jaga reaksi muka dan diam. Kadang body language pun cukup untuk hint, especially kalau yang buat tu bukan jenis degil.

But if dia jenis degil won’t take a hint and kita pun makin u happy kerja in that environment, then it’s time to distant ourselves from them and start cari better company to work for.

A company/agency big or small that doesn’t protect its employees/agents or worse, even normalise such culture is not worth staying in.

3. Kalau dalam group WhatsApp rasanya lagi senang nak spell out how we feel, at least for me :

You can drop a line like:

“Okay, stop. Dah over.”

Or just reply:

“🚩Red flag gurau macam ni.”

I’ve had my fair share of experiences like this, unfortunately—especially when I was much younger, about 20 years ago. So I understand how helpless it can feel.

I was young and scared of losing customers. Back then, this kind of behaviour was sadly normalised—especially if you were in the sales line.

The this is, kalau kita perempuan tak cakap apa-apa, orang anggap benda ni biasa.

Kalau kita tegur, orang kata kita tak sporting.

But if we don’t speak up — even with small gestures — nothing changes.

So to those who still think gurauan seksual tu ‘biasa’, maybe it’s time to rethink what kind of vibe you’re bringing into the room.