Aliyawanders

One of the most important lessons I’ve learnt is this: it’s perfectly okay to say no when someone asks for a favour.

In fact, you need to say no every now and then. Because here’s how it usually plays out:

The first time you say yes, they’re grateful. The second time, it becomes expected. The third time, it turns into entitlement. And when you finally say no? Suddenly, you’re the villain.

And the moment people realise you’re a people pleaser, they won’t hesitate to take advantage. They’ll milk your kindness, stretch your patience, and somehow make you feel like giving is an obligation instead of a choice. Before you know it, you’re drained—doing more than you should, while they keep asking without a second thought.

I only became truly aware of this a few years ago (though in hindsight, it probably started much earlier). During the pandemic, I worked as a PS for a hijab brand just to get by. My income depended solely on actual purchases made through me. But there were always these ladies who loved asking me to try on hijabs, to review colours, to give feedback—yet never once ordered through me. Instead, they went to other PS who were cheaper, though none of them went the extra mile the way I did.