Aliyawanders

AIA and AIA Public Takaful Malaysia have gamified doing daily exercise and regular health check-ups, and I’m all here for it.

I might have been a little obsessed with completing my AIA Vitality quests because I have a few Takaful certificates that are directly affected by my Vitality status.

With A-Life Cancer-i, I get cashback every year. And with A-Life Legasi, my basic coverage increases every year too.

And because of these annual quests, we detected a suspicious lump on my left breast.

That’s when we spotted the Mammobus from Beacon Hospital.

It was just my luck that there was an open slot because someone didn’t turn up for their appointment.

I received a follow-up call on July 30, asking me to come in for further investigation on August 5 at the hospital.

They detected some suspicious white images on the mammogram. Thankfully, after a spot mammogram, we found out that they were just cysts — hanging out together like they were BFFs.

But the ultrasound found something else.

A lump.

One that didn’t have clear borders, with blood vessels running through it.

They called it vascularity.

Not fun.

I’m hoping it’s just my hormones playing tricks on me again.

The breast surgeon I was supposed to see that day had already gone into the OT, so I had to come back the next day to see my doctor.

What’s a girl to do then?

So I just cried.

Silently.

While waiting for the report.

It was such an emotional roller coaster that day. I was elated when I got the result from the spot mammogram, only to find out that they had found something else later on.

Anger, tiredness and sadness all mixed together.

I cried my heart out, facing away from people.

At that point, I felt like, that’s it. I don’t want to know anymore.

But after I got home, I realised that not knowing was killing me inside.

So we walked into the breast clinic the next day, this time with my husband accompanying me.

Because what if I broke down again?

How was I supposed to drive home with tears streaming down my face, making everything blurry?

Another ultrasound was done to confirm what they had seen the day before.

I was prepared to pay for everything out of pocket. It was going to be expensive, but honestly, getting a negative result and not being able to claim was the goal — at least for me.

Then the doctor told me she would apply for a GL for me because this was considered a procedure.

She said a lot of other things, but being the patient myself this time around, I found it hard to concentrate.

And that’s why it helps to bring someone with you.

Someone who can help you understand what the doctor is saying, ask questions on your behalf and, if needed, advocate for you.

I felt like I was watching a slow-motion movie, looking at myself from the outside.

If there is one thing I’m adamant about doing, it is NOT overthinking about what might come next.

I’m just going to focus on the present moment.

On Friday, we went for a short getaway to Pekan, Pahang. A colleague of my husband was getting married, and the company had booked hotel rooms for us.

The boss is actually a friend, so things weren’t stuffy at all.

We had a fun dinner at a floating Indonesian restaurant called Sumpit-Sumpit. After the wedding the next day, we had a short lepak session at a train coach turned café.

And now I’m back home.

My biopsy is scheduled for tomorrow.

I’m in no mood to go out for exercise because I’m experiencing some BIG feelings right now.

So I strapped on my ankle weights to make up for it.

One small thing at a time.

For now, that’s enough.